Stream of Consciousness

Advice on Zines and more

Going down a YouTube rabbit hole and coming across this video: If I Started Making Zines in 2026, I'd Do THIS.

It has a bunch of great advice on making zines that I think applies to a lot of creative endeavours, including blogging.

In my last post I mentioned my years of journaling and I've always written with an audience in mind. I haven't really figured out who that audience is, but I think the only way to figure that out is to share my writing.

And my writing has always been stream of consciousness and trying to outline or draft my desire to write has always caused friction. I've started many creative endeavors only for them to fall to the wayside because there was an expectation to follow some rules or guides or something.

As someone who has always been a little defiant and questioned every rule I was told to follow, it makes sense for those things to fall apart before I can find my footing.

I'm trying to find my voice, my place in the world and that's hard to do when I'm shying away from things because there's rules to follow.

I might be focusing too much on the rules and not enough on the loopholes I like to find.

There are so many things I want to share. I've always wanted to just throw my journals in public but never dared because of some of the damning things I've written. So like I do need to make sure I'm safe and that means there are some things I can't share.

There's also a lot of things that aren't mine to share. But I have records of my observations and I think there's something to that. And I think some things I've been through or experienced can help others, either because they can relate or they can learn.

There's so many ways to experience being human and I think it's important for that to be shared.

I've honestly always believed that the world would be a better place if we got to see more unfiltered experiences.

When I was 13-15, I signed up for Tumblr. It was a niche corner of the internet. It's where I first learned about feminism and the extent of the queer community.

I grew up in a small town and these things were rarely discussed, and I was excited to learn about these communities that shared many of my same values. I understood equality before, but now I was able to name various things I hadn't had the words for. Small injustices that went unnoticed to maintain social ease.

Being new to these spaces, I had yet to learn when and where I was allowed to share or voice my opinion. So I had ended up sharing my opinion on matters that I had no place to and that I hadn't fully understood.

And I was called out for it. I don't know if they meant it kindly or not, but I felt horrible and stupid. I ended up becoming an observer, a lurker.

I would read long essay type posts with long essay type responses about various things and I always thought twice about sharing my opinion and eventually I stopped even considering it and would come to my own conclusion about agreeing or disagreeing and reblogged the things I agreed with and passed on the things I didn't without comment.

At one point I had a mutual who would inform me if I had reblogged a post created or shared by a specific group. I would thank them and do a little background check myself and delete the post from my blog. I'm not sure if we talked much before then and I'm not sure why they did that.

All that to say, I have a lot of un-voiced opinions, thoughts, ideas.

I have a lot of fear and shame around being wrong or not knowing something. I've also learned to give myself, and others, grace about those things. I'm allowed to be wrong. I'm allowed to not know things. They're also opportunities to learn, but those statements can stand on their own without a redemption.

I think thats a good place to stop. Also I'm tired, it's late. I'm not sure how to conclude things, but that's mostly because conclusions imply endings and this is likely not the end of these thoughts. I also like the idea of writings just ending without any fanfare. This feels a little like fanfare.

"Fanfare," that's an interesting word to see written. I'm not sure I've ever written it. I've thought it a bunch so it has an implied meaning for me, but it's a visually curious word.

fan•fare n 1 : a flourish of trumpets 2 : a showy display